New Beer Resolutions

As each new year begins, many of us resolve to change our ways. But life — along with new TV shows about pretty doctors with relationship problems — often dismantles our ambitions. So, in 2010, I’m focusing on two topics that I love: beer (did you expect knitting?) and writing, both of which lead back to this blog. Hopefully my affection for these topics will make my dedication to the following resolutions more, uh … resolute.

Resolution #1: BE MORE CLEVER

Admit it; you groaned when you read that headline. It’s OK. I groaned when I wrote it. Writers need quick wits to earn attention, especially on the Internet — sadly, my “research” usually slows the brain a bit. It’s a good thing I actually become more charming and clever when I’m drunk. When in doubt, I can always chug a pint of confidence.

Resolution #2: Move to Portland

Or to another city that’s been nicknamed both “beervana” and “brewtopia.” Portland, OR, has more breweries per capita than any other city on earth. Oregon’s legislators seem to love beer too. In 2009, they passed the “honest pint” bill, which gives a seal of approval to establishments that serve full 16-ounce pints (as opposed to those sneaky 14-ounce glasses with thick bottoms). Oregon’s beer tax is also the lowest in the country. A few reps keep trying to raise it (this year by a ridiculous 1900%), but their plans always seem to fail.

Resolution #3: Start homebrewing

Close your eyes, take a breath, and accept it; the self-proclaimed Einstein of beer has not yet brewed his own. Here’s why: I know how beer is brewed, and I know that I currently don’t have space for it (and that’s sad, because you really don’t need much space). I also distrust those super-compact Mr. Beer kits, which give brewers much less control over the process. As I said, I’ve studied the brewing process, so my first leap into the fermentation tank’s deep end should be drowning-free. Expect a homebrewing feature in the near future.

That’s all! Three resolutions may seem scant, but I think starting a new hobby, moving across the country, and altering the speed at which my brain functions will be plenty for one year. Now here’s a resolution for you: Go out and drink a beer you’ve never tried before. Browse my previous posts if you need some tips about what to try. And may your 2010 have many happy and productive beer-hunts!

Author’s Note: The pictured beer is a gueuze from Cantillon. A phenomenal beer, but not for the faint of heart!

No Responses to “New Beer Resolutions”
  1. Deb says:

    I didn’t like the gueuze. I guess I’m faint of heart! The Aventinus was good!

  2. Kris says:

    was the photo taken by your beautiful and talented wife?

  3. Ryan says:

    I am totally down for some home brewing, we should find an abandoned warehouse and do it in secret…… probly wouldnt work

  4. Start home brewing as a new years resolution I wholeheartedly agree with!

    Don’t underestimate the value of a Mr.Beer kit however. At less than $50 you can learning home brewing inexpensively. When/if you are ready to migrate to a larger system or choose to brew from grain you’ll better understand the entire process.

    Mr.Beer Employee 🙂

    • Scott says:

      That’s true; Mr. Beer can be a good place to start! I apologize if I gave the wrong impression. As someone who already knows a good deal about the brewing process, I’d rather jump right into a full starter kit, which admittedly costs more, takes up more space, and is much more complicated — but allows more control (e.g., giving you the option between all-grain or malt extract brewing). But that doesn’t mean everyone should shun Mr. Beer.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Peter! 😀

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